was the "hook" line at the beginning of Max Headroom, the best send-up, critique, satire ever of the then approaching digital information age. Original British version only, please, not the terrible US cover. So twenty minutes from now...
FRA today announced a new mechanism for improving the safety of employees, shippers, and passengers using the nation's railroads. It's called The FRA Mandatory Recommended Suggested Required Safety Advisory.
FRA, using its preferred procedure for notification, Facebook, stated:
"FRA has long felt the need to go beyond the limited, archaic means allocated to it by Congress and the US Courts. Notices of Proposed Rule-Making, Rule-Making itself, Emergency Orders, etc. are just so 20th century, and Safety Advisories lack the force, or threat of force, necessary to make the fossils managing this vital industry pay attention.
FRA thinks the MRSRSA, not to be confused with MERS, Middle East Respiratory Syndrome, or MRSA, Methicillin Resistant Staphyloccocus Aureus, is the silver bullet in this age of digital streaming, information superhighways.
The MRSRSA will target those who would rather rely on data, science, experience, and that other 19th century artifact, due process, when it comes to making railroads safer than safe, which is our goal, and our nifty slogan: Safer than safe, for you, for me, for Barney, and all the kids at 123 Sesame Street. "
FRA said it wants railroads to do what is right without questioning FRA, which only delays doing what is right, but, at the same time FRA requires the flexibility to drop its previous determination as to what is or was, or might have been, or still could be right whenever and as soon as without lengthy, time-consuming, and ecologically unsustainable (paper based) procedures. Right, partners?
"The new FRA Mandatory Recommended Suggested Required Safety Advisory accomplish both goals, and at once," said acting and future administrator Sarah Feinberg.
FRA announced if a railroad does not comply with a MRSRSA in whatever time FRA thinks is enough time, the railroad will first receive a notification via The FRA You've Had More than Enough Time, Buster process. If the railroad persists in its archaic, obsolete, 19th century foot-dragging ways, FRA will then unfriend that railroad from its Facebook page.
In the cases of repeated or mutiple violations FRA will deny the railroad(s) access to its Twitter feed.
For some strange reason, the threat of exclusion from FRA's twitter feed brought "thumbs up" responses from Norfolk Southern and Union Pacific.
At the same time as FRA rolled out its MRSRSA, it also announced plans to develop a confidential reporting hotline for railroad management. Without risk of penalty, fine, citation, decertification, or identification, railroad operating officers who do not accomplish a timely implementation of the measures required in the suggestions of the MRSRSA, will be able to report their own malfeasance on the new FRA/Madam Cleo's Pyschic Hotline stating.
"At FRA our goal is improvement-- safer than safe for you, and me, and Barney, and.. is our slogan-- not punishment. We believe most railroads are good railroads, and want to do the right thing. This way we will get more information than we would obtain otherwise and we can use that to develop another exciting line of products just like the MRSRSA."
June 12, 2015
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